The King who temporarily stopped wearing tight trousers
by Lulilion
Summary: A tale of goblin mayhem, floral nightgowns and JS flirting sprinkled with a good dose of glitter.
1. Chapter 1

Rain lashed the sides of the train as it shuddered and squeaked its way along the tracks towards the city, a splash of silver amongst the bruise black of the sky.

On board, most of the passengers remained oblivious to the weather as they scrolled through their news feeds or bobbed their heads along to Broods, and the train guards gossiping quietly in a corner ignored it completely.

No one paid any attention to the rather odd looking character that got on at Pukerua Bay and stumbled about in the middle of the carriage, but if they had they might have looked quickly away anyhow as it appeared to be arguing with itself over whether to take the window or aisle seat.

Eventually the figure, (which was wearing a floral nightgown), managed to sit precariously on both. It swayed slightly drunkenly with each twist of the train, emitting a strange clucking sound at regular intervals.

Under the nightgown, Slime and Snails were not having the best of days. That morning in the Underground, it had seemed a brilliant idea to visit the Wiseman at the center of the Labyrinth to figure out how to cheer up their King, who had given up entirely on bogging and started to wear track pants on Sundays.

Luckily, (or perhaps unluckily), the Wiseman's hat was in a particularly jovial mood, having recently got engaged to a lovely taxidermied goose named Brenda. It reminded them that the last time the king had worn his tightest pants was when a tiny toddler and his sister were trapped in the Labyrinth, and suggested they track them down.

The hat had even given them "Sarah's" address along with an plastic bracelet that they could slip on to take them Aboveground, which Slime had done as soon as the hat started waxing lyrical about the quality of Brenda's glassy eyes. The goblins had arrived at Sarah's house in no time at all, and both had performed the necessary celebratory dance on her porch (mostly jumping) as they congratulated themselves on finding her so fast.

Slime, (who was a little braver than Snails), had knocked three times on the door, expecting 'Sarah' to open it. Instead, they were met by an extremely nearsighted old lady, (slightly reminiscent of their friend the worm), who had invited them back inside and explained over the course of a few whisky's that the Williams family had moved...

to New Zealand.


	2. Chapter 2: Getrude Steinblazer

Thank you to all the reviewers and lovely people reading this, sorry it's so short x I promise it'll get there!

* * *

"Next stop Wellington Station" bleated the train, finally pulling past Westpac Stadium and up to the Railway Station platform. The floral nightgown and enormous black hat combo propped itself up carefully, clutching its purse to its breast. "Where are we off to?" whispered Snails, popping his legs out and shuffling off the carriage with the elegance of a yak in heat.

"Youth Hostel...happy face" murmured Slime, adjusting his pearl necklace (he had discovered twitter around year three of their travels, and hadn't quite got the hang of when to use emoticons or slang).

"YEEAAaaHrglle!" they screeched in unison as the storm hit them outside, their nightgown flying up to reveal an indecent amount of Snails' skinny thighs and a small bantam hen named Sally. Making a frantic dash across the road, the two goblins pushed past the rather bedraggled German tourists outside Hotel Waterloo and Backpackers and into the safety of the building.

"Two-er one bed today" Slime requested, sliding across a dog eared ID card and pile of coins pilfered from an unsuspecting magpie the day before.

(Right at that moment, the magpie was puzzledly pecking at the strange brown beans that its shiny metal things has turned into. Five minutes later, it had developed a worrying eye twitch and desire to pull an all-nighter. Five years later, it was taking a lecture on the superiority of single-origin and twirling its waxed moustache- but I digress).

"Enjoy your stay, miss er Gertrude Steinblazer" the hollow eyed man behind the counter intoned, sliding across their key card, "90 years old and travelling all the way to Nu Zild? I think you might be the oldest guest we've ever had here".

"Do you know Sarah Williams?" blurted out Snails from beneath 'Gertrude Steinblazer's' luminous nightgown.

"Sarah? Of course, everyone knows everyone in Wellington. Now what is she up to at the moment...?" he tapped his soul patch thoughtfully while staring at the ceiling. "Ah! She's a film maker and editor, I think she's doing really well for herself. Are you her gran?"

"A friend of her mother's" Slime grinned sweetly, "could you tell me where to find her bae?"

"Uh.. let me check facebook..." (a long pause followed in which Slime looked longingly at his phone).

"She works at the Aro Valley video store...looks like it's closed tonight because of the weather. Look why don't I take you tomorrow? I haven't seen her in a while and I've got the day off".

Slime's grin stretched further, "YASS I'd love that."

* * *

Sarah sat cross legged on her bed, a cup of noodles in one hand and a mitten on the other. "Damn lighting" she grumbled to herself, "we'll have to re-shoot that part".

A flash of lightning lit up the bedroom, making her jump and slosh the noodle juice on her duvet. As she went to prop the cup up on her dresser, a flash of white caught her eye outside.

 _It can't be..._


End file.
